Wednesday, November 11, 2009

He drives me insane, but...

I'd like to take a moment to vent about someone quickly.

Let's call him Lee.

From the outset, I want to clarify that I have no romantic feelings for this person.

Lee and I met exactly a year ago. At first, he was shy to talk to me. He said I was the first foreigner he'd met. He is Korean by the way.

He introduced me to some of his friends and after hanging out for a while, he started warming up to me. He has a lot of friends and he's the kind of guy everyone calls to join in on celebrations (always at a bar) He's also the kind of guy everyone calls when they need to be bailed out of a situation. This usually appeals to me - when people are popular amongst their friends and everyone speaks very fondly of them.

Being the youngest in his family (he's 32) he carries the responsibility of taking care of his ailing parents. The fact that he's unmarried also means that he's loaded with extra duties at work. I know quite a few people like Lee, but there's something about him... I can't figure out what it is. But the only way I can describe it is that I have a soft spot for him.


Here's the low-down on Lee.

He drinks.
Sometimes I question the existence of his liver.
I mean, I've seen him nurse a hangover on a Monday morning!

He smokes.
Many Korean men smoke (they attribute it to stress) and in all fairness, Lee doesn't smoke as much as other guys I know here. But he's told me repeatedly he's going to quit.

He's moody.
We could be out till late at night with friends talking and laughing. The next day, he won't even acknowledge me if we're in the same room together. However, when he's chirpy and in a playful mood, I have to act accordingly.

He's late.
I've waited for him up to an HOUR in the cold. He'd been caught up in a meeting and couldn't call me.

He's canceled.
At the last minute, he's canceled plans of us meeting or going out.

He's not a 'gentleman'
Unlike his friends, he never stands aside for me at a door or even holds it open for me.

He doesn't always reply texts
This irritates me when anyone doesn't reply my text. There have been so many times I've sent him messages or tried to call him and he won't reply.

He doesn't 'talk'
Yes, I know that men don't talk as much as women do when they have an issue, but it's very frustrating when trying to figure out why he's down so that I can help if possible. But that's fine. I just leave it.

Everything I've listed above are just from the top of my head.

Also, the qualities I've mentioned are things I am usually SO grossed out by and find people like that so unattractive, unappealing and rude. So why do I have such a soft spot for Lee?

A few days ago we got along very well and laughed a lot. And then when I saw him Monday morning and this morning, he just about greeted me.

Before you tell me that he's probably stressed or depressed, duh... of course I know that that's possible. But what I'm what I'm saying is that sometimes it gets tiring having to do a quick mood forecast on someone before knowing how to greet and talk to them.

This afternoon he came up to my office.

Me: What's the matter?
Lee: Nothing's the matter.

He stands at the window looking out.

Lee: Maybe I'm feeling the fall (autumn) weather.
Me: Well winter is near ... are you going to get worse?

He smiles a bit.

Lee: Maybe.
Me: Are you sure you're OK?

He nods.
I know better. He's not OK. And I also know that probing won't help 'cause he won't talk.

Lee: Maybe I should go to hospital (and he points to his head)
I want to say: Damn straight you should...!
But I say...
Me: Yeah, maybe you should go to hospital. For a month!
He chuckles.

After some small talk, he left.
And the soft spot for Lee in me emerged again. I don't know what he's going through these days, but I feel sorry for him.

People come into our lives for various reasons. Do we always need to question or analyze how we feel about them? Can't we just leave it as the proverbial X-factor? So even though at times when Lee's actions drive me insane, I can't get all that upset with him - as much as I try. Believe me!


dubiousma said...

I think it's human nature to analyze someone's personality like that...especially us as women. We're born nosy! LOL...he probably appreciates your friendship anyway. Or am I giving him too much credit? lol

Sheetal said...

:) Hmmm I'm sure deep down he appreciates it (and perhaps I'm giving him too much credit now!) But yeah, as women we over-analyze till we're blue in the face and sometimes end up with zero answers to what we're looking for. Thanks for visiting & reading this!