Sunday, June 27, 2021

My gran & I were like friends

I don't even know how to articulate how I feel. 

We're told not to hold on to our loved ones who have passed on. While I agree with the reasoning behind it, the past few months have been something else. 🥺

My grandmother's funeral was at 07:45 this morning.

I watched the live stream without a single teardrop. It was unreal to think that she's no more. 

Over the past few years, she wasn't like a grandparent to me. Although we didn't see each other often, we talked on the phone like we were friends.

Losing a loved one is already painful. But the shock of losing another within weeks (and days!) of each other feels like a cruel prank. 

My heart goes out to all who have experienced the same pain. I am aware that there are many families with the same kind of loss. 

Today is four months since our Dad passed. Just over a week since my uncle passed. 

It seems like when the heartache is too strong, we become numb. At least that's how I feel today. 💔

Grief comes in waves - it crashes harder on some days than others. What I'm slowly learning is that it's okay to just feel it, experience it. Our smiles and laughter are on the other side of our tears.

This photo was the last time my Ma and I were together in Johannesburg (2019). Ma, my mum and our aunty stayed up chatting until 05:00! The sleep-deprivation is evident in my eyes. 😄

Anyone who knew my granny will vouch that she was young at heart. I already miss her voice & laughter. But we know that she is now our guardian angel.

Aum Shanti Shanti Shanti. 🕉🙏🏼

💖 Friends, I’m thankful for the many messages  I’ve received over the last few weeks. I appreciate your kindness and support so much!

Friday, June 25, 2021

My grandmother left us yesterday

We’ve run out of words and tears. 💔

My grandmother (mum’s mother) left us yesterday. 

Exactly one week after her youngest son.

It just isn’t natural to lose loved ones within the mourning period of another. 😢

I’ll share more tomorrow, but today - we’re just quiet. Reflecting. Praying for her soul’s peaceful journey.

At the same time, we’re grateful to the doctors, nurses and hospital staff who took care of our granny and uncle - who were in the same ICU, and didn’t know it.

Aum Shanti 🕉🙏🏼

Sunday, June 20, 2021

Father's Day - our first without our Dad

Thinking back to Father’s Day, 2019.

Back when seeing my parents was merely a short flight away & when our Dad would open up his gifts so dramatically and then pose for photos!

At the time, we obviously didn’t think that it woud be our last Father’s Day together. In fact, the word “cancer” was still unknown to my mum and me.

I was dreading this weekend, the first Father’s Day that I wouldn’t hear my Dad’s voice on the other side. However, I did something small to honour my hero today and it was special!

I hope that all dads out there had a lovely day. 💙

And for our Dads who are in heaven...they’re pouring their love on to us today and everyday!

Love to all! 🤗

Saturday, June 19, 2021

Our precious Dinomama

“Everything happens for a reason.”

What is this reason?

Having to say goodbye to a loved one through a live-streamed funeral is something we’re almost getting used to.

I cried bitterly. 😢

This is truly a sad story in our family. Almost four months after my Dad passed, my mum had to say goodbye to her youngest brother this morning. All while her mum is still fighting in ICU. 

Dinomama (Dinesh) was charismatic and ambitious. He walked the talk. His long list of accolades is really something to be admired. 

He had so much to still give the world. My brother and I were looking forward to learning from him - even more after losing our Dad.

I was so happy to have found this photo from 2015. Dinomama was in Cape Town for a work trip and ended up staying at a hotel across the road from my apartment. We met for an early morning breakfast and he encouraged me with his innovative ideas and drive to better himself.

News hits completely different when your loved ones make up the horrific daily statistics. 💔

Aum Shanti 🕉🙏🏼

Friday, June 18, 2021

Farwell, Dinomama

How can this be happening? 😢

My mama (mum’s brother) left this physical world yesterday evening.



So many questions.

We continue to pray for our grandmother who is still in ICU - the same one our precious Dinomama was in. 💔

Aum Shanti 🕉🙏🏼

Saturday, June 12, 2021

Our parents' anniversary

Today marks the 40th anniversary of my parents. 💕 

Daddy, our guardian angel, is smiling from above.