My un-PC coffee date

Last week, a university friend and I found each other in the same town at the same time so she suggested a coffee date, which of course I agreed to... but it wouldn't just be the two of us. There were a couple of other people, one of whom I also knew from university via my friend.

We met at a coffee shop, and after greeting my friend (I was pretty excited since we hadn't seen each other since graduation) I wanted to hug the friend (of my friend) who I know - although not very well. She sat with her arms crossed and said, "I don't hug people of colour."

"What sh*t is that?" I asked - knowing very well that she was attempting to be humourous.

It was a square table with all four chairs occupied and one pulled up to the corner of the table.

"That chair is for you. It's for people of colour," this girl said.

Taking it with a pinch of salt, I sat down and proceeded to catch up with my friend over this "People-of-Colour" girl. I asked her if we could please swap seats because I didn't want to be talking over all the time.

For the next hour and a half, I tried to elicit conversation with my friend who was sitting to my left, while the girl on my right was continuously making these racist jokes. Now, I know her, but I never knew her that well to make such jokes to/about (?) me. Eventually, I turned a deaf ear and blatantly ignored the little smart-ass chirps that were coming from her direction.

So what do you think? At what point would you think it's just not funny anymore? Kind of annoying and so rude - whether it's a joke or not. Remember, "there's an element of truth in every joke".

Luckily, I had another coffee date to get to so it was time to leave...and oh boy, was I ever so happy to leave their company.

Week-end Reflections

After what happened on Friday,I felt better after writing about it and talking to friends.

I think I may be inclined to believe that Ignorance is Bliss. If my co-teacher hadn't told me what my principal and vice principal were talking about me, it wouldn't have phased me at all. On the other hand, I'm glad I was told. I still can't believe their audacity to speak about me being RIGHT there.

Up to now, we've been friendly with each other - I'll continue to be respectful but I will definitely be very weary of them (my principal and vice) from now on. 

I'm just putting it down to ignorance - on their part. And of course, life experience for me.

This week-end was one of those that just need to be forgotten. I did nothing, even though I was totally up to doing something fun. I was let on Saturday by a friend - yet again. This keeps getting confirmed for me -

You can't trust anyone and You can't rely on anyone.

As a result of this, I keep to myself and may seem like a recluse to others. Can you blame me?  

Anyway - tomorrow is Monday, and a time to hit Restart and begin a fresh week. Hope everyone had a good w-end! Love x

Ranting on Desi Boys - Part 2

Note: This isn't a personal attack on anyone. I'm merely expressing my opinon

While I was home over my summer holiday, I went to a well-known club in East London. Not really my thing, but my brother had a gig that night and I wanted to see / hear him play.

It was during the Hindu fasting month, so there were almost no Indian party-goers that night. During the course of the night/early hours of the morning, I noticed about 5 Indian guys standing on the stairs overlooking the dance floor. I could tell they were out-of-town-ers. They stuck in their group awkwardly holding their glasses and merely bobbing their heads to the tunes of Pitbull. I think they must have been there for a total of one hour, 'cause they seemed to have disappeared.

A little while later, 2 other desi guys caught my eye. Not because of their drop-dead looks or stylish dressing, but for the way they were going on for themselves with girls on the dance floor. Mind you, skinny blonde girls wearing items of clothing that left very little to the average persons imagination.

By 3am, the dancefloor was nearly empty and tables and chairs were bare. People were trickling home in their drunken state. Sitting with a friend at a table waiting to go home ourselves, I noticed that these two desi guys sat at a table near us. They were drinking. They were smoking. They were dancing with a blonde girl - quite suggestively, I might add. And I just looked on shaking my head. A few minutes later, they were standing near us talking to someone in our group. They didn't acknowledge my friend and I at all. Why should they have when they had their arms strewn across their giggling blondes.

So this is my conclusion. Note that it can relate to any man, but in this case (since I'm Indian), I'm directing my arguments at Indian guys specifically.

Guys can go out and have fun. Boys will be boys? Drink, smoke, gyrate with girls on the dance floor. They can date anyone they like, regardless of social status or race. They may even earn the label of "Player" or "Casanova". But when it comes to tying the knot, and if he walks 'round the fire with a 'nice, homely Indian girl', everyone will look on saying - "So good he turned out, isn't?" And the reputation he once carried around town will whither away like the flames from the fire he's walking around on his wedding day.

On the other hand, a (Indian) girl goes to a club. Drinks tequila, takes a couple of puffs from a friends cigarette and is always the life of a party - well, sadly this girls reputation won't escape her as easily as her male counterpart. Instead, while she's walking 'round the fire, head bent down and eyes lowered, no doubt there'll be onlookers in the audience talking about stories they heard about "that one".

Going further, these guys date all the "fun and sexy" girls in clubs in their 20s, but when it's time to "settle down" they want a "decent Virgin-Mary-like" girl?

Unfair judgement if you ask me?

“If doctors are becoming targets, it’s no wonder so many are emigrating from South Africa.”

I write this post with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.

I am so deeply saddened to have read that Dr Pox, a prominent and loved person of the King Williams Town community was killed yesterday.

I just arrived home and opened an email from my mum asking if I'd read the online Dispatch.
Because of the time difference, it hadn't been updated when I checked in this morning.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I thought of Dr Pox's wife and three children. And all I could think of was WHY THE F**K DID THIS HAPPEN?

Apart from being deeply upset at the loss of such a great man, I am EXTREMELY PISSED OFF that such a disgusting thing has happened....again.

Who the hell gives someone the right to take another person's life. I could go on forever on this topic trying to figure out what drives a person to KILL.

The title of this post is a quote from Dr Helmut Fritsche (a local SA Medical Assoc spokesperson).

Before coming to South Korea, numerous people said to me, "You must come back to your country... It's fine to go away for an adventure for a year or two, but you must give back to your country."

WHY? Why would I want to live in a country where I have to constantly look over my shoulder in case someone is going to come after me with a freaking weapon to kill me?

I've been here in Korea for 2 months, and apart from missing my FATHER, MOTHER and BROTHER, I miss nothing else....

I go out when I please, and come home the next morning if I wish - alone...using public transport. Of course, I am cautious but not to the extent where I have to make sure all 3 locks are locked before putting my head down for the night.

I'm really really annoyed that such a barbaric act has occurred. People's lives are taken every single day, but one only feels the sting when you knew the deceased personally.

Above all, he was a doctor - a respected and loved one at that. The country is forever crying that professionals are leaving SA for other countries. I don't blame them.

Who in their right mind takes the life of someone who SAVES lives?

I'd say I've grown up in a pretty politically-aware home. I've always loved SA and been very proud to say I am a South African. But when I read of atrocities - especially with the likes of Lucky Dube's murder (amongst many others) and now Dr Pox, I say - leave the damn country...

I hope the people responsible for this and other stomach-wrenching tragedies will be caught and severely punished.

Password Frustration

A few days ago I accidently signed out of my flickr account... and now I can't remember my password :( So I have created another account ....

(not sure how to get the other one deleted since I can't access my account settings)

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Word of advice to everyone:
WRITE DOWN YOUR PASSWORDS!!!!!!!

My own personal post

I hate feeling needy. More than that, I hate complaining. But this is my blog. My space. And I can say whatever the hell I want to. Right? So here goes:

Over the past week, I swear - about 5 people have told me that I am looking different. "Good different?" I ask? "Yes...you're....glowing!" and then of course, I am asked, "What's his name"?

For the record: There is no "he" featuring in my life at the moment. Trust me, if there was, I'd have blogged about him by now :)

But yes... I have been feeling much more relaxed in this final quarter of my university career. Work is going well, and I have a lot of free time on my hands... which I am really not used to. I am used to being occupied from morning till the early hours of the next morning.

I'm not writing this post because I want sympathy. I just wanted to vent.

So even though I have been told that I am looking "good", why am I not "feeling" it? I am just feeling let down by ....well, people...

It's hard to put into words all that is going through my mind now, but today was a day where I just wanted to talk. Not about anything in particular, but I just wanted to have company - most of my day was spent working (on my laptop) so in the process...I got chatting to friends - online. Nope, that didn't fill the void I was feeling. I wanted to be in actual human company... in the flesh! And as dramatic as that sounds, I don't care. I wanted to see and hear people talking and laughing in front of me. In the flesh. But most people were busy this evening...as I had been throughout the day.

So I called my mum - she didn't have assignments / tests etc to work on (LOL) so I thought I'd see how her evening was going. And I told her that I was feeling a bit lonely. She asked where all my friends were. Well, they were occupied doing other things. Like I said at the beginning of this post - I hate feeling needy. I know that my friends are busy with academic work / sorting out their own lives etc... and if anything, I'm supportive of all that.

But I am feeling a bit pissed off right now...
An example - I was trying to 'talk' to a friend... and I was cut off mid-sentence. This, from someone who rambles on till the cows come home. I'm used to this, but today it just hit a nerve.

Just once, I'd like someone to ask me how my day was ...and be genuinely interested in knowing about it...

Just once, I'd like someone to remember an important test that I have to write - and wish me luck for it...

Just once, I wish someone would give ME a hug, just for the hell of it.

Just once, I wish conversations wouldn't only be all about the other person...

Ok , so maybe I sound needy after all - but hell... I'm only human and we all have a right to feel this way...right? If everyone else around me can feel that way, why the hell can't I?

I love being the one people feel comfortable talking to when they need advice or cheering up. It makes me feel good helping others. It really does.

But who do I go to when I want to cry just for the hell of it?

This evening, my mother told me that we are living in a cruel world. Stating the obvious, mother...but her words ring true.

Each man (or woman) for his (or her) own.

DISCLAIMER: I have generalized in this post. I have certain friends who - even when they are busy - will spare me five minutes. Sometimes, that's all I need...

One of those days...

I wanna cry, but I dunno why
~~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~~

It was pouring with rain when I woke up this morning.
I usually love the rain, but today I wished for the sun to be out and the birds to be singing.
It was just one of those gloomy days...which made me feel *uggghhh*.
There wasn't really anything 'wrong', I was just feeling down.

So before I crept into my bed in the darkness of my room, Ferret and I ordered pizza. We chatted and laughed till our food came. And then my friend, Teneshia called. I really miss not seeing her as much as I did last year. And after that ...my friends, Himesh & Nikhil came over to visit. We ended up chatting and laughing about all sorts of random things.

So my solution to days like this: Surround yourself with people who make you happy and who can put a smile on your face! Because thanks to the above-mentioned friends, I'm going to bed much happier than when I woke up this morning!

Crime - I'm tired of making excuses...

I like to think that I am a positive person. I try my best to find the positive side in any situation. Coming from a semi-political family, I have been raised as a Proudly South African citizen. Being in the Journalism field, I have seen and experienced terrible atrocities in South Africa. But still, the fact that we live in such a beautiful country of natural beauty makes me feel that things aren’t really that bad.

I get very irritated when I hear people complaining about South Africa. Even though our newspapers bleed with headlines of rape, robbery and murder, I still find solace in the fact that we are a country of rich cultures and diversity.

However, my spirit has been dampened by something that happened to me last month. While walking in town around midday with two friends, my purse was stolen out of my handbag by a 15-year old boy. Someone who witnessed this approached me and told me about this. I became frantic and begged this young man to run after the boy. By the time I caught up with the group of teens, my money was already being distributed.

A nearby security guard caught the child who had taken the purse from my bag, but his friend ran away with it. I don’t remember ever being that angry before. As the guard held this 15-year old by his arm, I grabbed the money from his hands (about R180) and yelled at him, demanding him to find his friends who ran away with my purse.

When the police arrived, a case was opened and the juvenile was taken away. I really don’t care about the money that was taken. But I have had to deal with unnecessary admin of canceling and getting new cards. Besides that, I am so frustrated that this happened. I have been told that street children steal out of desperation. But still – it’s the principle of it. How dare he steal?

After this incident I have become paranoid as I walk down the street. I hate being like this – clutching onto my bag if I as much as see someone suspicious walking towards me.

The way I see it is like this – there are so many things already killing us in the world – Cancer, AIDS, tsunamis, forest fires…even floods! I think it’s ridiculous that we have to fear another human being. But, sadly that it the reality of the world.

I have been hearing far too many disheartening stories over the past few weeks. It’s one thing reading about it in the newspaper or watching it on the news, but when crime is committed to people close to you, it’s an entirely different situation. I have family members who have had guns pointed to their heads; they’ve been woken from their sleep and tortured in their bedrooms. This isn’t right. No country is exempt from crime, but we also can’t avoid the fact that we live in one of the most dangerous county’s in the world. When foreigners hear of South Africa, they think one of two things: 1) Wildlife and 2) Crime. Many people will argue that because of our brutal history, people are still healing from deep wounds that will take a long time to heal.

But I am tired of making excuses for the crime in this country. I refuse to live my life in fear. Why should innocent people suffer? If anyone should suffer, it should be the criminals…but we all know that isn’t the case.

As I write this, I don’t wish to solve any world crisis whatsoever. All I am saying is that South Africa needs to beef up its punishment laws. It is ridiculous that criminals are arrested and sometimes within a few hours, they’re released back into society. And so the cycle begins again.

aaaaaaah!!!!

Can technology PLEASE just be on my side for a few more hours?!

My laptop is as slow as a snail these days. If I click on something, I have to wait for half a minute before the damn menu gives me options to choose from....and I have been wrecking my brain looking for just the right music to go with my documentary. I never want to have to go through this again - what a bloody pain!

I have finally settled on something - it's a piano piece. It's not wonderful, but at this point I actually just don't care. For all I care, I am willing to put down "Twinkle twinkle little star" while my subject talks about receiving an honourary doctorate.

I'm pulling an all nighter tonight... I'm editing from 8pm right through to Sunday at 4am.

The only thing keeping me sane is knowing I'll be home next week this time.

The countdown begins

It's the first day of Spring here in South Africa. It's such a lovely day in G'town today...the sun is out, the birds are singing...and I woke up thinking, "Shit - it's Friday!" That means we are down to counting the hours till our documentaries are due.

To understand the extent of our insanity at ungodly hours spent in the Journ department, here is my dear friend, Jason on the brink of losing it .

I just can't take it anymore

Hmmmmmm


Sir, could you speak up, please?

Shit, these headphones arn't working

Yep, Jason has lost it now!

I want to fly away from this nothingness that is G'town

I am feeling down. Mostly because I don't want to be in Grahamstown this week-end. I honestly think that this town (village, rather) is closing in on me.

I don't mean to whine like a little kid, because I know that hundreds (thousands?) of people before me have lived here...and survived.

But right now, I'm just going through one of those patches where I feel like I need to get out of here for a while...even a day.

I've never been a small town kinda girl. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I come from a big city, but still - I need to see concrete buildings. I don't want to turn to my right and see an open veld with mountain goats grazing in the distance. Enough with the mountain goats, already! (that's them on the rigt, by the way)

....and of course, the donkeys

Today I vowed that I will never stay in a town that doesn't have an airport. Reason for this being that today, I had the opportunity of going to Durban (6pm flight), but how to get from G'town to EL...?

There were no buses, and no one I knew that was going through at that time. So - I'm stuck here. I should have taken a donkey!

I have work to do this week-end, but I felt like being spontaneous today.

What a damn pity that I couldn't be spontaneous when there isn't an airport around :(

Hmmmm...imagine if I had my own helicopter?!

Imagine if I could fly my very own aircraft....?

Fwd: I hate junk mail!

I'm going to rant and rave for a bit, so just bare with me... and I hope that after my little bitching session, I won't be spammed anymore *crossing my fingers*.

I made my peace with junk mail when I signed up for free email services like Hotmail, Yahoo and a host of others. But then, my dad opened up a secondary account on his business email - which, by the way - once a upon a time, was only given to a selective few. The reason behind my snobbish thoughts was for the very reason I am writing this blog post.

I am irrated to my very core. Usually, I check my email frequently - on some days, depending on how busy I am, more than three times a day. In between important correspondence and work-related e-mails, I get the odd "Johnny Joke" or comical porno pic...or even a chain letter - warning me that if I don't pass it on to 10 people within the next hour, I will be doomed.

Trust me, when I see "Fwd...." in my Inbox glaring at me in the subject line, all it takes is a click of the delete button! Easy as that, but when I know I'm going to be offline for more than say, three days, I send out a general email to people asking them ever so nicely to please not send me any thing for the next few days as my Inbox will be clogged with unneccesary e-mails, jokes, pictures, sound clips etc...

I have been so patient, practically begging email-ers to STOP sending me junk. Frankly, that is what it is - JUNK! If it's of no use to me, it's junk. Junk. Junk. Junk. And I don't like junk. I have even gone as far as saying that I will block people from my email list if they continue to jampack my Inbox with things I don't even open. But those go unnoticed and the very next day I receive an email with a header, "Fwd: fwd: fwd: You're never going to believe this!"

For goodness sakes, people - if you pass that email on to 10 friends, it's very unlikely that you are going to win a trip to Disney World or win a Nokia etc. There is no need to pass it on "just in case it's true...you never know" Oh please! If you do that, you're just buying into more spam and filling YOUR inbox just as much as you're filling up mine!

I have been an active member of the cyber community for over ten years now. Believe me when I say that I have heard / read most of the jokes circulated on email lists.... from the naughty things Johnny has said in the classroom to 100 ways to annoy your boss at work...even to how many blondes it takes to change a lightbulb.

And another thing that grates my nerves is when the body of the email message contains the HUNDREDS of people the message was previously CC'ed to. And people, please...if you really have to forward me a message, please at least have the decency to trim the subject line so that it doesn't read: Fwd: fwd: fwd: fwd: fwd:fwd: fwd: fwd: fwd: fwd: Open this quick!

Phew! That felt good ranting and raving...thanks for listening...or rather reading about my pet peeve of junk mail ;)

Why don't you rather send me an email saying, "Hi...how are you?" Tell me what you've been up to etc... I think that even takes less effort that sending a forwarded email. Send me an email like that, and I can assure you I will reply with the most love and affection. Send me a forward, and you will awake the mean monster within me ;)

Have a great week-end, everyone!