Thursday, December 2, 2010

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man - Day 2

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man - Day 1

I slept way after 2am this morning because I couldn't put this book down. Reading is time-consuming, and if I didn't have other chores to finish, I'd have completed the book today. Anyway, I have three chapters to go.

So what did I "learn" today?

The Three Things Every Man Needs

Men are not as complex as we (women) make them out to be. Their needs are simple. (p 40)

Need 1: Our Support
Men need to feel appreciated.

We've got to feel like we're king, even if we don't act kingly. Trust me, the more you make us feel like we're special, the more we'll give in return.

Need 2: Our Loyalty (p 42)
Men need to know that we're devoted to them.

We want you to show your love to us by being loyal. That means that no matter what, you're going to stand beside us.

Need 3: The Cookie (p 43)
Translation: Men. Need. Sex.

We don't care about anything else; we need the cookie. We need to be physically engaged with the woman we love, the woman who is loyal to us and support us, and the way that we do that is by making love.

"We need to talk" and Other Words that Make Men Run for Cover

(p 50) 
When men are talking, and especially when they're listening, it's with purpose.
We don't vent.
We just want to fix whatever situation is upsetting the balance.

(p 56)
Detailed conversation is what you have with your girlfriends. Men just want to hear the problem and then fix it. 

First Things First

(p 64)
A man always wants something. Always. And when it comes to women, that plan is always to find out two things: (1) if you're willing to sleep with him, and (2) if you are, how much it will cost to get you to sleep with him.

Sports Fish vs Keepers

(p 71)
A Sports Fish...
Doesn't have any rules, requirements, respect for herself, or guidelines, and we men can pick up her scent a mile away.

(p 72)
A Keeper...
Never gives in easily, and the standards/requirements start the moment you open your mouth. 

Newsflash: It's not the guy who determines whether you're a sports fish or a keeper - it's you. When a man approaches you, you're the one with total control over the situation - whether he can talk to you, buy you a drink, dance with you, get your number, take you home, see you again, all of that. 

Mama's Boys

(p 88)
...stop coming up with excuses, and recognize that he's a mama's boy because you let him be one. Yes, I said it: It's. Your. Fault.

...a man who knows you will be the man you need him to be if you have requirements - standards you set to make the relationship work the way you want it to. 

Why Men Cheat

(p 97)
Men cheat because...
They can.

(p 107)
If you let a man know up front that you'll tolerate a lot of things but cheating is not one of them, then he's really  clear on the fact that if he steps out of the union, he stays out of the union. And if he breaks that promise and steps out anyway? You've got to be prepared to let him go and walk away.

Truth be told, this chapter was unnerving. What I got from it, was that even though a man "loves" a woman (remember - he loves a woman if he professes, provides and protects) he will cheat on her with another woman...just for the physical act of sex - which is apparently meaningless. I think I need to re-read this chapter.

Men Respect Standards - Get Some

(p 123)
...while men appreciate it when women let them know up front what they require in a relationship, I firmly believe women need to step back every once in a while and let the man show you what he's made of - you know, prove that he's worthy of your time.

(p 125) lay out your requirements for a man, and convey the importance of following those requirements, you must first figure out what, exactly, your requirements are.

1. What specific kind of man are you looking for? (funny, hardworking, generous?)
2. How do you expect to be pursued? (calls, texts, dates? Must he always pick up the tab?)
3. What level of commitment do you expect? (open relationship or exclusivity?)
4. What kind of financial security do you expect him to have? (rich?)
5. Do you want a man who wants kids and is family orientated?
6. Does he have to be religious/spiritual?
7. Do you mind if he's a divorce or has kids?
8. Can you help a man build his dreams? Can you adapt to his plans?
9. What do you expect of his family? (should you get along with his mother?)
10. What should he be willing to do to woo you? (pursue you? give you expensive gifts?)

The Five Questions Every Woman Should Ask Before She Gets In Too Deep

(p 133)
1. What are your short-term goals?
2. What are your long-term goals?
3. What are your views on relationships?
4. What do you think about me?
5. How do you feel about me?

The Ninety-Day Rule
Getting the Respect You Deserve

(p 149)
You have got to prove yourself to get the good stuff, the extras, the benefits (sex)

How does he react when you tell him you've got some problems?
How does your man react under pressure?
How does he react to bad news?
How does he react when he's told "no"?

I just want to meet Steve Harvey. I want to thank him for being the most awesome tour guide in a mans mind and for being so brutally honest. I also have so many unanswered questions mostly consisting of "what if's?" It feels like this book should be top secret and available to (and only) women. 

I firmly believe that things happen for a reason at a particular time. Even though I knew about this book over a year ago, I just never got around to reading it. Now, the time seems right. Maybe I understand it (and appreciate it?) better at this age and stage of my life. I just want every woman I know to read it, and if not - I want to share my favourite excerpts of the book...hence these blog posts!

Let me get back to my last three chapters.

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man - Day 3

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