The art of Listening.

Yesterday I found myself on the other side of being disrespected.

Let us first ask ourselves, "What is respect?"

My own explanation: "The act of making another person feel worthy, by means of acknowledging or giving him/her undivided attention."

In my opinion, the most precious gift we can give another person is respect. How? By listening to them. I mean REALLY listening to them.

In both situations, the other person seemed to switch off when I started speaking. Inadvertently, he/she was telling me, "You're not important & I have better things to do than to listen to you."

Mind you, this may not be the other person's intention and they probably WERE listening to me. But by brushing me off, it left me feeling rather small.

Later on, I was reminded of my uncle's words, "We are here to learn from others - from their strengths and also their weaknesses and be a better human being."

My line of work is people-centered. By no means am I perfect, but these little reminders of how to treat each other are of the utmost importance.

Listen to your fellow brethren & respect will follow.

Thankful Thursday Thoughts

Feeling intense gratitude (and a bit emotional) after reading a farewell message from a student.

My Thankful Thursday Thoughts:

Like I say to my students, "Before you're a student, you're a person" , before I'm a teacher, I'm human too!

I sometimes forget this. During the day, I wear many caps & often find myself fluttering about about - without a minute to waste.

My students' success & happiness is my priority. Why? Because I know the sacrifices they made to be here, the nerves of steel they have to endure for exams & so much more.

Sometimes I feel helpless & wish for extra time, extra eyes, extra ears, extra arms...so I can make miracles happen for my students - like getting acceptance at university or a hospital they wish to work at.

But I can't perform miracles ;)

I give my all to what I do & am immensely grateful for the opportunity to work with / for beautiful people.

I wish I can thank each person individually here, who today, touched my heart & lifted my spirits.

Thank you.
Thank you for your trust, respect & love.
This is from my heart to yours.

Killing time IS a criminal offense!

An early morning chat with former student-turned-friend in Turkey got me thinking about time and being busy. While at 06:00 in South Africa, I was getting ready for my morning walk, Emre was getting ready for work. "We are busy for nothing," he said. I guess he meant, we're always busy...but for what purpose exactly? 

I've been reading 168 Hours which has really gotten me thinking about how it is that we got to be so busy. Time is something we seem to have very little of these days and having "free / leisurely" time is considered a luxury. All too often we are busy being busy, but are we being productive? We are all guilty of making excuses to get out of something, saying that we "don't have time."

I work from 07:30 to 17:00 (roughly). Apart from work, what is important to me? Simply - exercise, reading and writing. To ensure that I do these things within 24 of my day, I sacrifice about an hour and a half of sleep, ensuring that I've exercised before going to work. If possible, I dedicate a few minutes to reading and writing. That's right. My wake-up alarm is at 04:00. I am by no means, perfect and I also have my "off" days!

However, once I'm at work, my day is dominated by time. Each minute is precious and I can't afford to sit idly doing something that is of no benefit to myself or my goals in life and work.

To maximize my time, I have identified what kind of "energy vampires" and "time thieves" [courtesy Robin Sharma for these terms!] secretly "steal" my seconds from me. A few months ago, it was the addictive game, Candy Crush and (wait for it!) Facebook. To avoid this "problem", I deleted both apps from my phone. Don't get me wrong, I still log on to Facebook (two or three times a day) but I'm strict with the amount of time I spent trolling through my news feed. Time reading gossip could easily be spent making that overdue catch up call to my mum, dad or brother. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that as much as we either wish we had more time or we wish time away, the truth remains that no one (no one!) is granted any extra time. Each and every week, we are allocated 168 hours. 24 per day. How, where and with whom we spend it is our prerogative, but we should be wise enough to use it to its capacity. Once it's gone, that's it!

That's What Friends Are For

I pride myself on the fact that I share very special relationships with my students that go far beyond textbooks and Grammar. 

When Yahya Zwita, from Libya, opened his heart and told me that his friend, Mohamed (aged 20) committed suicide at the beginning of the month, I knew that I had to be there for this young gentleman. Far from home for the first time in a foreign country with family and friends far away, I instinctively took on the role of his big sister.

During one of our conversations, he told me that he wanted to give a presentation / tribute about his friend. I immediately agreed and said I would help him in any way I could.

For his tribute today, Yahya spoke to a group of about 25 students - all his peers. Voluntarily, he put himself in the spotlight...and spoke. I have always maintained that "Words that come from the heart, enter the heart." This was exactly what happened this afternoon.

I teared as he spoke so fondly about his friend. An hour later, as I drove home, I stopped at the beach and looked out at the vast ocean before me. My thoughts traveled to Lydia Labuschagne, who is at this moment, fighting for her life at a hospital in Jerusalem.

It's not the kind of message anyone expects, but when I learned about Lydia's sudden admission to hospital, I have been in constant contact with friends around the world about this. I first met Lydia when her family moved to East London and Lydia joined my class in Std 1. We were 9 years old.

On my way to work this morning, I had a devotional song playing in my car. I surprised myself when, as I neared work, tears trickled down my cheeks. The song took me back to Johannesburg, a month ago when I was at the final prayer for my uncle, who suddenly passed away.

It always intrigues me why people cry after hearing about death. Is it because one is sad that the person will no longer be around? Will the physical body of the late person be missed or what they stood for and the role they play in others' lives. Do we cry over guilt or regret of not saying certain things to the person who has left us? Is it a matter of "If only..." or "I wish..."?

Death always brings us to a standstill. With our extremely busy lives, we spin around from dawn to dusk, not stopping to acknowledge. To appreciate. To say "thank you".

Blessings can be found in the darkest situations - even amidst news of death. With our friend, Lydia lying in hospital now, I have been talking to school friends after many months. The best part about it is that it feels as though no time has passed. This is the beauty of friendship.

This blog is dedicated not only to Yahya and his friend, Mohamed, but to my school friend, Lydia, who is so dearly loved by one and all who knew her. To say she is a ray of sunshine to many is not an understatement. Together, we hold faith that our prayers will be heard and that Lydia will soon return to her family.

Yahya's tribute ended with this song:

Unleashing a creative spark!

I have a few stories to share about my various "light bulb" moments with students. This usually happens when a certain grammar point is finally grasped or if a certain skill has improved because of advice given by me. 

I recently tried something different. Two of my students, Yank Lai (Taiwan) and Mohamed Abogila (Libya) have been joining me twice a week from 08:00 to write. I, too, have been joining in the writing process. The challenge to get as much out in 20 minutes is something of an adrenaline rush.

There is just one rule: No idea or structure is wrong. Apart from checking obvious grammatical structures, I have emphasized the power of words and the effect it can have on a story.

This morning, Yank and Mohamed blew me away! I simply couldn't believe the caliber of work that was produced in limited time! I am known to gush about my students - especially when they produce something amazing. I have taken their writing success quite personally as it reminds me of MY English teacher in high school who unleashed the creative spark in me! 

Dearest Mrs Felton. AKA - The Legend.

Knowingly or not, she is the one person responsible for making me believe that anything...anything is possible! The sky is not even the limit.

After reading Yank and Mohamed's pieces this morning, I felt compelled to get in touch with "Mrs F" and tell her that over a decade later, she continues to have an effect on my life. I dedicate this to her. I have such deep love and gratitude to you, Mrs Felton!

Please read below for Yank and Mohamed's writing.

Prompt: Write about yourself as a 10-year old child

Looking Back
by Yank Lai (Taiwan)
Level: Upper Intermediate

I am 10 years old. I am enjoying extreme happiness in my life. At least, I have been thinking…

Not only can you often see your parents and close friends. Also, you don’t have any stress at this moment. You can do many things. You can be a dreamer and do everything you can imagine: You can cheat girls, stealthily kiss her and confidently escape. You can fight with your best friends and after half an hour you are playing together again. There are no rules in paradise.

Wait! Don’t forget – you have a charitable grandmother who always gives you what you can imagine. My parents are shouting at me, but I can hide behind my private protector and peek with a smile at my parents.

I would really not like to grow up. I want to try to grasp everything and hope it won’t change.

Prompt: Describe how you would like your life to be in ten years time

My Light
by Mohamed Algantri
Level: Intermediate

Actually, I have many plans in my mind.

Firstly, I would like to be a famous pilot I want to be intelligent, optimistic and self-confident. I will be ecstatic when I have made all my dreams come true. So, I want to work in a massive company and I would like to earn a lot of money in my job. I want to travel all over the world. I want to be like a falcon. I want to fly. I want to feel free. then, I would like to be someone who is hard-working, because my family told me that they want to see me as a famous pilot – lively and reliable.

When I hear something like that, I feel strong. I will fight to get my dream.

After that, I will get married to my princess. We will live in a castle and have two children. I want to live my life as a warm person. I want to be happy. Also, I would like to be a teenager. I will think just about love – play – dream! I want to be an amazing man and a wonderful father for my family. I want to be like fire for my wife and I want her to be like water. 

I love life. I don’t want to think or feel angry. I would like to delete this adjective in my life. I want to say goodbye to my sadness and tears.

I want to die after I would be a father and I want to see my family. Then, I can die after when I was a pilot, with my children, wife and parents.

I will be ambitious all in my life and I will love and think under the earth when I die, so my life, my blood for you…forever.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

This is taken from one of my Secret Scrolls emails about gratitude:

Begin your day by feeling grateful. Be grateful for the bed you just slept in, the roof over your head, the carpet or floor under your feet, the running water, the soap, your shower, your toothbrush, your clothes, your shoes, the refrigerator that keeps your food cold, the car that you drive, your job, your friends. Be grateful for the stores that make it so easy to buy the things you need, the restaurants, the utilities, services, and electrical appliances that make your life effortless. Be grateful for the magazines and the books that you read. Be grateful for the chair that you sit on, and the pavement that you walk on. Be grateful for the weather, the sun, the sky, the birds, the trees, the grass, the rain, and the flowers.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

The Riches Within (Demartini) Chapter 1: Genius - Your Mental Treasures

• What is your destiny?
• I am a genius, and I apply my wisdom.
• If you can conceive of a question, you can create an answer.
• Look for those things with genius in them if you'd love to inspire the genius in you.
• Don't read good books. Read the great ones:
  Realize that inspiration breeds creativity and awakens genius.
• Stare into space:
  To gaze out at the far reaches of the cosmos gives you a sense of limitlessness and provides you with the open dimensions of space and time to contemplate unbounded planes of thought.
• Take a walk in the park, field or forest:
  Stop and listen whatever the whispering wind guides you to stand. Ask for natures message in the moment, and listen with your heart.
• If you can spot it, you've got it!
• Sometimes we think that other people have a better deal than us, but the reality is that we have the potential for just as great a deal as anyone else! Discover what mental power is inside of you!
• Anytime I run across people I think possess great minds, I read their biographies and identify where we're similar
• You know, the world treats you the way you treat yourself. If you value yourself, the world values you. Until you value yourself, no one else will. Likewise, if you don't give yourself permission to do something great, why would the world assist you? You must allow yourself to be great and do something extraordinary.
• Aligning your intention with ACTION: Using the power of your mind to shape and consciously create your reality.