Sunday, June 27, 2021

My gran & I were like friends

I don't even know how to articulate how I feel. 

We're told not to hold on to our loved ones who have passed on. While I agree with the reasoning behind it, the past few months have been something else. 🥺

My grandmother's funeral was at 07:45 this morning.

I watched the live stream without a single teardrop. It was unreal to think that she's no more. 

Over the past few years, she wasn't like a grandparent to me. Although we didn't see each other often, we talked on the phone like we were friends.

Losing a loved one is already painful. But the shock of losing another within weeks (and days!) of each other feels like a cruel prank. 

My heart goes out to all who have experienced the same pain. I am aware that there are many families with the same kind of loss. 

Today is four months since our Dad passed. Just over a week since my uncle passed. 

It seems like when the heartache is too strong, we become numb. At least that's how I feel today. 💔

Grief comes in waves - it crashes harder on some days than others. What I'm slowly learning is that it's okay to just feel it, experience it. Our smiles and laughter are on the other side of our tears.

This photo was the last time my Ma and I were together in Johannesburg (2019). Ma, my mum and our aunty stayed up chatting until 05:00! The sleep-deprivation is evident in my eyes. 😄

Anyone who knew my granny will vouch that she was young at heart. I already miss her voice & laughter. But we know that she is now our guardian angel.

Aum Shanti Shanti Shanti. 🕉🙏🏼

💖 Friends, I’m thankful for the many messages  I’ve received over the last few weeks. I appreciate your kindness and support so much!

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