Sunday, July 31, 2011
Birthdays have always been celebrated in a big way in our family. No one's birthday ever goes unnoticed, and growing up I have learned that it's not just a day to indulge in cake and open gifts. For me, it's a celebration of my life!
For one day in the year, I get to feel so special with phone calls, texts and emails. Even friends who don't keep in touch as often as we should, will call to wish me Happy Birthday.
But this year - Friday, July 29 - I wasn't in a mood to celebrate. I woke up that morning with memories of what happened the previous day.
I cried bitterly in the shower. Not because my email was hacked and years of messages, contacts and memories were gone, but because I couldn't understand why all this was happening to me.
Something I heard recently, "You know my name, but you don't know my story" has stuck in my mind. Few people know how the past 12 months have been for me. Behind my smile was heartache.
I've always tried to find the silver lining in grey situations, which is what I've been doing - but even the most positive person is allowed to feel lousy from time to time.
I couldn't understand why Lady Luck was overlooking me. I would wake up in the morning thinking "Today will be better," but would go to bed that night despondent.
Rejection is part of life and it is imperative to go through it in order to grow as an individual. But when it happens constantly, surely one begins to question themselves by asking, "What's wrong with me?"
I recently watched the Oprah interview with singer, Shania Twain who, after an emotional ordeal, actually lost her (singing) voice.
For the past few months, I was unable to write as I did before. As much as I wanted to share my thoughts and feelings through my writing, I felt emotionless. Like the Canadian singer, I felt like I lost my voice.
On Thursday evening, for the first time in months, I poured my heart out in a blog post and got such warm responses from people.
For some people, my hacking saga probably meant nothing to them and they couldn't understand what all the drama was about. Others, on the other hand, empathized with me, comforted me and even shed a tear with me.
This morning when I woke up, the sun was creeping into my room. As I lay still in my bed, I heard birds chirping outside.
I heard birds chirping! I couldn't remember when last I had heard that. I guess when you feel like a thunder cloud is over your head, you kind of lose your senses. You don't see the beauty of the sky, you don't hear birds chirping, you don't smell the sweet scent of a rose...
So there - I can't be kept down in the dumps for too long. I always bounce back...and now, I can say: "Hello World! I'm a year older, a year wiser. Thank you for the lessons you've taught me. I've just proved yet again that I am so blessed and that there are wonderful things that are still to happen in my life."