Finally, some fresh air!

Visiting hours are from 1pm so I try to keep my mind from wandering until then. I rest, but it’s not easy lying in one position on my back. And I have pipes connected to my ankle that drains any liquid - so movement is limited. 

I share a room with an older lady who’s going to rehab tomorrow. We speak different languages, so there isn’t much chatting except for a smile here and there and I give her a thumbs up when she moves without assistance.

I was emotional when my husband walked in this afternoon. I really felt like a drive and eating an ice cream somewhere with a beautiful view.

When the nurses said it was okay for me to go for a little “roll around” I didn’t hesitate…until we reached ground level to the canteen. 

When I saw how people were looking at my ankle with this metal entrapment, I asked hubby to get a sheet from the bed to keep it covered. Even I can’t bare looking at it. 🥺

We went outside for a few minutes - blissful. 

And then we shared a Fanta. 😃

We’ve developed a little bathroom and freshening-up routine before visiting hours are over. I wish I could have my hair washed and blow-dried, but for now, I’m grateful that I can still keep up with my daily skincare routine.

I just got an injection for thrombosis-prevention and they’re giving me a pill to relax for the evening. It’s really frightening when I accidentally catch a glimpse of it. I’ll listen to devotional music and just relax. 

Also, writing and sharing this experience is proving to be therapeutic. 🙏🏼🥰

Surrender

Almost a month ago, I tested covid positive - or as the lab results stated: “very strong positive” (translated).

Despite doctor’s instructions to rest, I continued pushing - going through busy days. I think this also prolonged my healing.

As I told my Mum: There’s literally nothing I can do now, but slow down. Surrender. 🙌🏼

This photo is from the night before my mishap. Looking at it, I started to feel sad thinking of the “could haves and should haves”.

The mix of emotions is natural, but I’m going to think that I’m actually on holiday here. 😃 As the doctor told me now: “You can chill a bit.”

Of course I’d much rather be spending my birthday week elsewhere, but…it is what it is.

Resisting will slow down my healing, so onwards and upwards we go. ✨

What I’m looking forward to today?

For a change of scenery, a possible “roll around” the hospital in a wheelchair when my husband is here during visiting hours. 😄

Have a break, have a KitKat

Today’s been a rough day with little energy. Grateful for pain meds that help with discomfort. 

I tried to eat a bit, but was craving chocolate.

I settled for a KitKat without realizing the irony. 😏

“Have a break, have a KitKat” ❤️‍🩹

I already have a win!

Good morning! 🙏🏼

Big milestone for me for this morning:

I managed to get myself off the bed, onto the wheelchair and to the bathroom without assistance from the nurse. 

The doctor just came to check up and he assured me that I’m young and will be okay. It’s really the small things that count: He took my hand and said, “You don’t need to be afraid.”

Thank you for all the kind and lovely messages coming my way. I appreciate them all! ❤️

Pic is my view when waking up after a few hours of sleep.

Keeping my gratitude list growing

Lying in this hospital bed is humbling. Wearing the hospital gown and underwear unable to move the way I do every day - without a second thought.

My left ankle was covered with a sheet this morning so I didn’t see what it looked like after last night’s operation. Instead, if the nurse needed to do something, I looked to my right - out the window. But the sheet is off now and I can’t avoid seeing this metal entrapment over my leg. I remind myself: it could have been worse. 

While I’m trying my best to look on the bright side, I won’t lie - it’s scary. 🥺 

Even being wheeled around the hospital to x-rays and CT scans, I keep my eyes tightly shut, hands on my chest

I’ll just keep looking at the pretty clouds in the sky and keep that gratitude list growing. ✨

I broke my ankle!

Life threw me an unexpected curveball.  

Yesterday I slipped going downhill. I was rushed to hospital by ambulance and was told I broke my ankle. I’ve never broken a bone in my life. 

I was in pain, shock and terrified. I’m grateful to paramedics who knew this and were so kind to me.

I was operated on last night. And I need to stay at hospital for a week before having a second op. 😱

Just like that, one can be made so vulnerable when you find yourself needing assistance for basics - like the bathroom.

I couldn’t sleep last night. 

Feeling my Dad’s presence with me reminded me of what he often did. I counted my blessings as I tried navigating through through physical pain I’ve never felt before. ❤️‍🩹

Pic is my view from a zipped up stretcher in the ambulance. 🥴

Photo memories

This popped up in my phone memories today. 

15 July 2019.

Behind these smiles: Uncertainty, hope, sadness, and confusion. 

Just two days before this photo was taken, my Mum & I learned of Dad’s diagnosis.

This photo was taken a couple of minutes before my Dad & brother left for Cape Town to see a specialist. I still believe that the only reason we were able to smile was because of his positive attitude.

The pain of losing a parent is hard to describe. 

💔 

Thinking of my beloved Dad now - our guardian angel. 

🕉 Aum Shanti Shanti Shanti 🙏🏼🪔