I could so easily freak out now. Although I'll admit I did cry a little bit, I simply don't have the energy to cry anymore.
Spending the past few days with my family was good. With my parents, being in the home I grew up in, allows me to just "be". Even if it means having a temporary regime of eat - sleep - eat - read.
I don't do well at all with too much free time and at the beginning, my mind was far too idle.
Slowly, I learned to switch off and trained myself to be IN the moment with my family. I spent a lot of time reading. I'm halfway through Nelson Mandela's autobiography, "Long Walk to Freedom".
But another book which is like my refuel is Robin Sharma's "The Leader Who Had No Title". Listening to Sharma in his training video's makes me feel rejuvenated and alive.
I read all the way on the flight back this morning, but lo and behold...I felt a nasty pang of hollowness shortly after I arrived at my apartment.
It has been the most trying couple of months and if I may say so, I've shed more tears than I ever remember. I have so many unanswered questions, my heart is filled with confusion and anxiety. Yet all I'm told is to have patience.
So I had to take matters into my own hands and decided that I needed to make a choice. Am I going to whimper like a victim? No. I always bounce back. And before hitting rock bottom (again) I was ready to bounce.
Ultimately, we cannot choose what happens to us, but we CAN choose how we react to these events.