Friday, December 27, 2013
This morning my dad forwarded an article for me to read. It was written by a young lady who spoke about Christmas holidays and all the (some) obligatory meetings one has to endure during this time of the year. Parties, visits, bumping into people in crowded shopping malls...things like that. With such meetings comes the inevitable questions surrounding ones career, love life or current location of dwelling.
Truth be told, I have been mulling over this topic for the past few days as I wanted to write about this very topic as well.
Most people who know me fairly well will vouch that I enjoy going out and socializing. I love meeting friends over a good meal or sitting in a quaint coffee shop chattering away.
However, when I arrive in my hometown for the holidays, I turn into somewhat of a recluse. My family knows this. Malls? No thank you. Eat out? No thank you. I don't use the word, "friend" loosely so I am comfortable to say that I have very few friends in my hometown who I arrange to meet and catch up with.
I consider my trips "home" a success if, when I am about to leave, I've seen very few people. I know this sounds harsh, but hear me out.
Comments and questions I try to avoid at all costs come from people who I know genuinely mean no harm. But little do they know that their 'innocent' questions could pierce very sore spots that I am otherwise trying to either avoid or heal.
So...asking for the umpteenth time what I do, and then give a look as if to say, "Oh...is that a real job?" to asking me if I know So-and-So who also recently relocated to Cape Town, to something which stabs me of late, "Please tell me you have a man now!"
The last time I went back after a short trip home, I remember telling someone, "East London isn't the same as I know it before." to which I was replied, "The city is the same, Nothing changed. Only you changed!"
The more I come back here, the more I realize how true this really is. The city is the same. The stores are the same. The roads (with all those potholes) are the same. The people...are the same. Yet it is me who has become so busy, that I can't organize a dinner date with a friend without my phone to see if my planner can tell me if I'm free or not. I'm the one who has to make decisions on my own, who falls ill on my own.
I change everyday and I know for a fact that I am not the same person I was last year this time.
Situations and circumstances of 2013 have molded me to become the sensitive, sometimes insensitive, caring, sometimes selfish, calm, sometimes control maniac that I am.
So I guess what I'm actually trying to say is, for some of us - the holiday period is not AS joyous as it is for others. No offence to anyone, please...but, I'm quite happy hibernating at home with my nose in a book :)