Saturday, September 10, 2011

The light at the end of my tunnel...


Well, I cant believe the change of events within the past few days.  Last week this time I was longing for my life when I was in Korea. I missed my friends and the independence (on so many levels) that I enjoyed there. I even considered going back...

Now, I'm counting down the hours till Monday when I begin (proper) work for the first time in South Africa!

I have been engrossed in a very special book called The Gratitude Effect by Dr John Demartini. He speaks about the power of expressing thanks for absolutely everything around us, including the situations we find ourselves in which arent necessarily in our favour.  For friends who know me and who read my blog, you will know that I have been doing Thankful Thursday since I was in Korea. Everyday before midnight I would list 5-10 things I was grateful for that day. I then turned that into a weekly thing, but sadly, it fell away when I came back to South Africa.

As Ive written before, the last few months were quite difficult for me as I have been looking for a job. Honestly speaking, there was little that I could find to be grateful for. I was feeling fed up with life and people. I couldnt comprehend why the Universe was ignoring me.

Reading The Gratitude Effect felt like it was a wake-up call for me. I decided that I needed to find blessings in everything I was doing and situations I found myself in. I didnt think it would be easy, but I had to give it a shot. Almost as if it was a switch, I turned my thinking around and decided to say Thank You to absolutely everyone in my life. My list ranged from Higher Powers... the Universe, my parents, my brother, my aunts, uncles, cousins, teachers, friends, security guards, shopkeepers, cashiers, parking attendants, past employers, colleagues, students. And then, the hardest of them all thank you to everyone who has rejected my job applications. Heavens knows, I have responded to dozens of job postings, made numerous phone calls...with no joy.

There were days where I didnt see the need to get out of bed. The sun would be shining through my blinds, but I woudnt be able to see or appreciate it. I didnt want to face anyone and I felt like I was becoming somewhat of recluse. I didnt want to attend any social gatherings where people were going to ask me, Have you found a job yet?

The sense of despair and rejection I felt was heartbreaking and no one will really be able to understand the deapth of this pain. It felt like I was being told that Im not good enough. Apart from the support of my parents, I felt like I was just not getting the validation that I needed.
When I woke up on Monday morning, I saw the sunshine and said Thank You for the beautiful day. I was not going to spend the day moping at home so I got dressed up and took a walk in my area. I walked into various shops and met a number of interesting people. It was one of those days where everything seemed to be going just right. Also, people I had been waiting to hear from were sending me e-mails!

Another miracle happened on Wednesday.

I went to the V & A Waterfront with my netbook. I thought I would get some writing done at a coffee shop overlooking the mountain and harbour. What better inspiration could I possibly ask for? When I arrived, I took a short walk and I found a bench near the harbour boat tours. One was leaving in 5 minutes. It was a gorgeous day and I was there...so why not? It was just a 30 minute ride around the harbour and then I went to a coffee shop where I decided to sit and write.

About 3 hours passed and I got so much done. Earlier that morning, I sent in a job application for an internship position at a company I have been itching to crack into. I decided to call the number of the person who I sent my application to. Just to make some kind of contact other than via e-mail. She was so kind and friendly and she encouraged me not to give up on my quest for getting in. As it turns out, she is is the assistant to the person who sifts through the applications and who I spoke to a couple of months earlier (and who was very rude to me on the phone).

I left the Waterfront feeling really satisfied about the day and that I managed to get a lot of writing done. Soon after arriving at home, I got a call from someone who happened to have been given my CV. She said that she would like to offer me a temporary job for two months. While it is not editorial, she would like to know if Im interested in it at all. My heart was racing. She asked that I go in the following day to chat more about the position.

When I hung up the call, I sat on my couch for about 10 seconds trying to absorb the miracles that were unfolding in my life.

I went in for the interview on Thursday and was asked to think about the position overnight and to call in Friday notifying them if I accept or not.

After much thought and weighing my pros and cons, I called her on Friday morning.

What have you been thinking? she asked.
Ive been thinking...that Id like to see you on Monday morning, I said.

And just like that, I accepted the job offer.

Today was a bit of a milestone for me as I drove into the city centre alone for the first time (not by getting lost this time!) to sort out my parking for the duration of my work. I was so lucky to deal with a very nice person and was also very grateful to a friend who told me about this parking garage.

I havent felt this happy and at peace in a long time and as my godmother said to me, The light is shining for you at the end of the tunnel.

Im very grateful to the lady who called me on Wednesday afternoon and for her giving me my first break at my first proper job in South Africa.

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