Friday, December 31, 2010

Last few mins of 2010

Last year at this very moment I was in Bangkok, Thailand.

This year I planned to go out to my brother's gig, but plans (as usual) don't work out. So as I'm typing this, I'm sitting in the lounge with my dad watching a recorded "Ghost Dad" (1990) with Bill Cosby.

There are just a few more minutes left of the year. As soon as we welcome it in, I'm off to bed.

Where ever you are, I hope you're safe and having a good time!

Highlights of the Decade

Highlights of 2010

Last Friday Party

TKO's Last Friday Part on December 17 2010 featuring: Lulo Cafe, Professor (Jezebel fame) and Oskido! Numbers was BLAZING...Oskido closed the club down after Professor's live performance. It was madness....

Lulo Cafe on the decks
With Professor


With Oskido

Chill Spot

Zelda likes to chill on hot days. Here she is under my car.

Google Doodle - New Year's Eve

Frozen Blackberry

Got this from my buddy, Ajay:

Have Faith!


Every religion on the planet has told us to have FAITH. Faith is when you cannot see how, but you absolutely know that the moment you have the dream it is given to you, and all you have to do is relax and allow the Universe to magnetize you to your dream and your dream to you.

Sandton Girl Looking for Wealthy Partner

Test Pic from E-mail to Blogger

Our baby, Zelda.

Test Post from E-mail to Blogger

Hope this works! :-)

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Thankful Thursday

As 2010 wraps up, I have more to reflect on and be thankful for...not just in the past week but over the year. I'll add to this list as more things come to me, and no doubt they will!

I'm thankful for:
  • ...my health
  • ...to have two healthy parents and brother
  • ...to have food to eat everyday
  • ...to have clean clothes to wear everyday
  • ...to have running water to take showers everyday
  • ...having a clean and warm bed to sleep in every night.
  • ...to have gone to Aunty Aurora to shower this AM when we had no water
  • ...my mum for helping me with getting my car
  • ...having my big brother, Vijayan in our lives
  • ...Christmas gifts from my parents and brother
  • ...my friend, Jenean who never fails to deliver with advice
  • ...my brother for "having my back
  • ...KN for sound advice

What are you thankful for today/this week?

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues. -Cicero

Happy Song - DJ Fisherman ft DJ Tira & Big Nuz

It's no secret that I love Kwaito! Since seeing DJ Tira & DJ Fisherman live a couple of months ago, I'm convinced that Tira is one of the best artists in South Africa. This track is from Fisherman's album called The Fish Tank Volume 1 and features DJ Tira & Big Nuz. It's my new pick-me-up song! I love it.

I'm still here

I don't really know what excuse to give, except that - life just happens. I have not been blogging and am so behind on email correspondence, which isn't me...really.

Over the past few weeks, I've realized that one of two things happen to me:

1) I have too much energy and not enough time.
or
2) I have too much time and not enough energy.

I have so many people to thank.. for a number of different things, but I'll get to that soon enough. For now, I just need to get the words out, whether they make sense or not.

I've had the most interesting conversations with people, I've watched good movies and I've read some thought-provoking books, all of which deserve a post of their own. So without much further ado, let me get to my blogging!

To friends around the world, I hope you're healthy, happy and ready to welcome 2011 with a bang.

Love always x

Friday, December 24, 2010

Remembering my uncle...

My Uncle Dalpat & Aunty Aurora
Today is four years since my Uncle Dalpat (Dully) passed away in the Philippines. He is forever missed and remembered.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Lady in Red

Yesterday (Wednesday, December 15 2010) I took delivery of my first car! I'll upload pics soon :)

Monday, December 6, 2010

Raindrops on Roses - One of My Favourite Things!

Taken in our garden at home on December 2, 2010

A lonesome ant

Taken in our garden at home on December 2, 2010

Sunday, December 5, 2010

We Love Julie Andrews!

Earlier this year, a UK journalist who was working on a feature on Julie Andrews, asked me to contribute a short paragraph on this beautiful woman. I just found the piece I wrote while digging around for something else.

Here it is:


I’ve often said that no one weaves magic on screen like Julie Andrews. I grew up watching Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music which made me wish to know someone as enchanting as this lady. 20 years after watching her films as a child, I’m an English teacher at an elementary school in Korea and I’m using the songs from her films when I teach. Julie owns whatever scene she’s in – without much effort, it seems. Poised, sharp and beautiful, she is as graceful as ever after all these years and still loved by many all over the world.



Become a Spiritual Pioneer (Selfless Service)

To become a spiritual pioneer means becoming a more conscious spiritual change agent. In this role, your contribution can take many forms. One way of contributing is through what's called selfless service. According to the ancient philosophy of Vedanta, selfless service is called karma yoga, the path of selfless work, wherein every action is offered to God as a sacrament. By doing so, it is said that one eventually attains unions with God. Jesus had a similar message. When he said "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me," he was making it clear, among other things, that any service offered to another was a direct offering to God.
Taken from: The Unmistakable Touch of Grace, by Cheryl Richardson

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Friday, December 3, 2010

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man - Day 3

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man - Day 1

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man - Day 2


Damn! Oh. Hot. Damn. You know that feeling when your heart skips a beat? You know that expression, "hitting the nail on the head"? Last night - or rather, this morning - at 1am, I put my book (Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man) down on my lap and just stared ahead for a few seconds. It was eerie, because it felt like the author (Steve Harvey) was talking to me. I could just picture him standing in front of me, looking me in the eye...maybe even wagging his finger in front of my face.

On p 187, four words jumped out the page at me and almost screamed:
Just be a lady.

To explain why my heart was racing by the mere mention of these words, I'll have to backtrack (a lot), so perhaps I should first round up what I "learned" from my new favourite man, Mr Harvey in his book which I now consider gospel.

White Gold: Off circuit in a week?

Image from Google Images
White Gold is a film focused on the history of South Africa's sugar can industry and the migrant workers who left their native land (India) to seek a new life in South Africa. I first heard about the film on TV where various shows were commemorating the arrival of the first Indians in the 1800's.

Being a South African production, I was very keen to see it and was delighted to know that it was in my hometown (EL) starting from last week Friday. Due to other obligations and my mum not being well, we postponed seeing it and made a mental note to watch it next (this) week.

Today seemed like the perfect day, but when we checked the Ster Kinekor's movie listing in the paper, we were disappointed to know that it was already off circuit.

I needed to know why, so we made a call to Ster Kinekor - who told us that if a film doesn't do well within the first weekend, it's taken off circuit. Is this fair? I'm leaning towards no...


Thursday, December 2, 2010

Thankful Thursday

This week I'm thankful for:
  • ...my health.
  • ...my mum getting better.
  • ...the doctor who my mum got a second opinion from.
  • ...the DD publishing my opinion piece last week.
  • ...the emails and comments I've received for the opinion piece.
  • ...friends like JL, CT & KN.
  • ...having two loving parents.
  • ...DD offering to help me out.
What are you thankful for today/this week?

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues. -Cicero

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man - Day 2

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man - Day 1


I slept way after 2am this morning because I couldn't put this book down. Reading is time-consuming, and if I didn't have other chores to finish, I'd have completed the book today. Anyway, I have three chapters to go.

So what did I "learn" today?

Munni Badnaam (Dabangg)

Finally! The full length song (Munni Badnaam) brought to life by the sexy Malaika Arora in Dabangg.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man - Day 1

Last year (July 2009) I wrote a post on Steve Harvey's Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man after watching his interview on Oprah which I watched in South Korea.

A year and some later...today (Wednesday, December 1, 2010) I started reading the book.

Steve Harvey is a likable character and even though watching him on screen, it seems like he could be one of your friends who you'd call up for a pick-me-up.  I guess that's why I was hooked from page 1.

The book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man has the author taking its readers (presumably women) on a guided tour of a man's mind. As I write this post, I'm only on page 42. I'm not finding "revelations" as such as I've already known certain things about the male species (example: men need to feel needed) but in keeping my focus on the author, allow me to share with you what I've "learned" today.

Saiyyaji Se Chhupke (Beta)

Yesterday, Beta (1992) with Anil Kapoor & Madhuri Dixit was on TV. This song is so old-fashioned and it's about Dixit's friends trying to get her to tell them what she was up to with Kapoor (in the previous scene). 

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Step 1 of Phase 1

Image from Google Images
Today I signed on the dotted line!

Monday, November 29, 2010

Happy 29th Anniversary!


Today, my parents celebrate their crown (29th) wedding anniversary.
Happy Anniversary, Mummy & Daddy! 
This is a very special milestone. Here's to another 29 and many more. Love you both - and I'm so happy to be here at home to celebrate this special day with you both!

To mum...from dad!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Crossing Borders

Got this via e-mail from my dad!

LET ME SEE IF I UNDERSTAND ALL THIS...
If you cross the North Korean Border illegally you get 12 years hard labour
If you cross the Iranian Border illegally you are detained indefinitely. 

If you cross the Afghan Border illegally, you get shot. 
If you cross the Saudi Arabian Border illegally you will bejailed. 
If you cross the Chinese Border illegally you may never be heard from again. 
If you cross the Venezuelan Border illegally you will bebranded a spy and your fate will be sealed. 
If you cross the Cuban Border illegally you will be thrown into political prison to rot.

Sunset with showers of blessings

I got this shot on our way from Tulsi Vivah at the temple on Saturday (November 20) evening.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Tulsi Vivah

Tulsi (Holy Basil)

Today I attended Tulsi Viva at our mandir (temple). It was my first experience and was curious about its significance. Some of the info below has been taken from here and here.

Tulsi Vivah is the ceremonial marriage of the Tulsi plant to the Hindu god, Vishnu – or his avatar, Krishna. The wedding signifies the end of the monsoon as well as the beginning of the Hindu wedding season.

Mandap (Canopy) for the ceremony

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Washing Clothes

I took this random photo while Sylvia was washing clothes the other day. I just loved the shot of the water dripping from her fingers!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Dispatch Dialogue with Jay Naidoo

Image from Daily Dispatch
Yesterday (Tuesday, November 16 2010) I went to a Dispatch Dialogue with Jay Naidoo.

Lunch at Cape Town Fish Market

With Aunty Bonz and my mum at Cape Town Fish Market
On Tuesday (November 16, 2010) my Godmother, Aunty Bonz took my mum and I out for lunch. It was my first time to Cape Town Fish Market at Hemingways Mall. They have a sushi bar, and I guess that was the only thing that I (kinda) enjoyed - it reminded me a lot of what I used to eat in South Korea! I had a grilled hake with vegetables. My mum's hake was raw in the center so it had to be sent back. Service-wise, a bit shoddy...



Tuesday, November 16, 2010

150 years of indentured Indians in South Africa

Today marks the 150th anniversary of the arrival of indentured Indians to South Africa.
Here is an article taken from Times Live.

Image taken from Google Images
Tuesday marks the 150th year since the first indentured Indian workers arrived by boat in Durban where curry, bindis and saris are today an integral part of the city. The anniversary will be marked with prayers at 0400 GMT at sea and speeches on the beach.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Hollywood by Michael Buble

Michael Buble's new hit single, Hollywood from his latest album, Crazy Love - Hollywood Edition is growing on me!

Moonshine Graduation

On Saturday, November 13 2010, my Godmother's kindergarten (Moonshine) held their graduation ceremony in East London. Aunty Bonita (Bonz) asked me to be the Graduation Mistress so I had to walk the little graduates in, cap them and give them their certificates. I went to the rehearsal on Friday morning, but nothing prepared me for what I saw on Saturday evening. The little people were dressed up in graduation gowns and caps looking so adorable!

In my cap & gown, with Aunty Bonz & some of the graduates!
After the formalities of the graduation, the kids came back into the hall (in partners) and danced. Take a look!


I know Aunty Bonz for my entire life, and I've always known her to be someone with an extra big heart. However, on Saturday evening I saw her not as a Godmother or family friend, but as a Teacher / Mother to all the little children who were graduating from her school. My mum and I both agree that Aunty Bonz touched everyone's heart when she went to each and every child to kiss them goodbye. She pulled off the event with such perfection, and I've already told her that I think she's one in a gaziliion!

Check out this little guy doing a "Michael Jackson"!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Waiting in line...

Got this in an e-mail from Ajay!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Thankful Thursday

Everything takes practice before it becomes habit. This is what I need to do about my Thankful Thursday series. I'm not very impressed that I've been so slack, but better late than never - right?

I'm thankful for
:
  • ...my health.
  • ...the energy I've had to write the things that need to be written in the past week.
  • ...my parent's and brother's health.
  • ...having a special Diwali weekend with my family last week.
  • ...heartache, which sometimes makes you see things clearer in retrospect.
  • ...attending Marlene Neumann's Come, Be Inspired! workshop on Saturday.
  • ...being able to see what's right and learning that "the truth will set me free"
  • ...someone being so understanding and patient with me.
  • ...my friend, Jenean and her invaluable advice.
  • ...FM being so approachable and willing to help me.
  • ...my Korean friends making an effort to send emails to me in English.
  • ...chats with my friend Vicky (in Switzerland) who I have so much in common with.
  • ...the food I eat.
What are you thankful for today/this week?

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues. -Cicero

Waiting to bloom

Roses in the Garden

I took a photo of this rose (when it was a bud) on Sunday :)
Scroll down to see the 'before' photo.


LEFT: November 7 2010 and RIGHT: November 11 2010

Spam Mail - my nemesis

This morning I woke up to an e-mail titled "Your Apartment" from someone called "morgan benson". I immediately thought that it was relating to my apartment in South Korea. Well, it wasn't. It was just another junk mail. I'm just curious how many people fall for this? It read:

Hello Friend,

I got yur contact as i was searching for a lovely apartment for my client Hon Dr Francis Poku the former minister of national security here in Ghana in , he is the one that need it for a fast relocation with his family, he wants 4-5 bedroom flat or a home in any part of South Africa , he has budget $3m, let me know the prices range of the one under your possession if is up or less to the budget.

I will like to you to send me the interior and exterior looks so i will be able to view it very well and send it to the honorable minister to as well to take a look because he has told me that immediately we received the pics and conclude with it will be payument so that once you receive the payment and confirm to me, then i will join you to inspect the apartment because the honorable minister has given me the power of attorney to sign any neccessary document on his behalf.

Charles
DEVTRACO ESTATEA AGENT
+233547886458

Juju by Black Coffee feat. Zakes Bantwini

After last week's Channel O Music Video Awards when Black Coffee & Zakes Bantwini performed this live, I love it even more!

"I've been built from every single incident in my life" -DJ Fresh

DJ Fresh       (pic via Google Images)
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I like DJ Fresh. Not in a groupie, break-into-a-sweat kind of swoon, but I really like his style. He's frank and he doesn't seem to take ish from anyone. Above all that, he's worked really hard to reach the level he's at right now, and he's someone I have a lot of respect for.

...oh, and I love his laugh! During my insomnia attacks in South Korea, I'd often tune in to 5fm via streaming and would love Fresh's contagious laughter. I've seen a couple of his TV interviews and I maintain that for a guy who is so big (in everything he does), his feet are planted firmly on the ground.

Anyways, 'nuff gushing over this DJ!

9 Words Women Use

Got this from my friend, Jenean...enjoy!

9 Words Women Use
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 


(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.


(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm.  This means something, and you should be on your toes  Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

Maldito Alcohol by Pitbull

Rapper, Pibull has released a full-length Spanish-language album titled Armando. Here's the music video of one of the tracks from the album titled Maldito Alcohol...done only as Pitbull does best!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Cherry Tomatoes

Taken at lunch time on April 12 2010

Building in my 'hood in S.Korea

Just a building in my 'hood in S.Korea

From Egypt

Temple of Queen Hatshepsut, Al-Dei Al-Bahari Temple (Jan 28 '10)

Morning is a wonderful blessing

Got this message from my Godmother, Aunty Bonz this morning.
(This photo is from Jeju Island, South Korea)

Taken from a hotel room - Jeju Island, South Korea
Morning is a wonderful blessing; either cloudy or sunny. It stands for hope; giving us another start of what we call life. And if yesterday didn't end up the way you planned; don't lose hope. Just remember God created today for you to start again; the best is yet to come! A very special good morning to you...

Monday, November 8, 2010

Awesome Artwork

This is so cool! If you look carefully, you'll see they're all hands. Thanks to Ajay for this.

The Bahamas

Come, Be inspired!

An open field across the road of a family friend's home in East London, SA
A few weeks ago, my mum forwarded an e-mail to me. It was an invitation to attend a workshop hosted by South African Fine Art Photographer, Marlene Neumann.  It would be on Saturday, November 6 2010 at 9am. I didn't answer my mum whether or not I wanted to go, but the thought was at the back of my mind. For nearly 30 years, Marlene's message has been, "I photograph what I feel, not what I see."

On Thursday, I felt a bit zoned out and slightly disconnected. I was trying to write, but my words were coming at a very slow pace. I needed a nudge in the right (write?!) direction. Something told me to go back to the e-mail and re-read it.

The workshop promised:
An experience in Awareness
How to express your Creative side
Connect your HEAD & YOUR HEART
How to see Light...
A taste of MARLENE'S MAGIC
End the year with an inspirational SURGE!

They were only accepting 50 bookings, and when I booked - they opened it up to 60. There were only two available seats left. It was meant for me!

I woke up on Saturday morning still feeling a bit disorientated, and I couldn't wait to get to the workshop for this "inspirational surge"!

Arriving at Marlene's gallery, one walks through a driveway and enters a magical place - her garden. There are trees, flowers and crystals everywhere. I marveled at the serenity and I knew I was going to leave feeling uplifted.

Each person had to draw a card which had a special message written on it. Mine read:

"There is always a piece of fortune in misfortune." 
-Japanese Proverb
Stairs leading to? At Egyptian Embassy in Seoul, South Korea
All I really want to do is share what I learned and that's why I've written this blog. There were some moments where my eyes almost welled up with tears as Marlene spoke. Why? Because she spoke the truth about loving life...and how to do it. It's a fact that truth hurts, doesn't it? Emotions are powerful and when any emotion is evoked, we need to listen to it. It's our mind, heart and spirit talking to us. How many of us are guilty for ignoring this voice?

Since this post is longer than usual, I've broken it up with photographs I have taken over the past few years in various locations - South Korea, London, Singapore, China and Egypt. To me, they're beautiful and make me feel good. I hope you'll feel the same way.

Enjoy...

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Perfection!

How stunning & perfect are these raindrops?

Beautiful!

I don't know what this is. What I do know is that it's beautiful.

New Year...New Beginnings

It's the Hindu New Year, and to me, this represents new life & beginnings.

Water...

Water feature in the garden

Friday, November 5, 2010

Diwali 2010

To everyone celebrating Diwali:
May peace, love and light enter your homes and hearts on this auspicious day!

This year is particularly special for me, as it's the first time in 7 years that I'm at home with my family on Diwali.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

TED2010 The LXD: In the Internet age, dance evolves

About LXD
The LXD (the Legion of Extraordinary Dancers) are building an interactive web series that represents the next evolution of dance.
About this talk
The LXD (the Legion of Extraordinary Dancers) electrify the TED2010 stage with an emerging global street-dance culture, revved up by the Internet. In a preview of Jon Chu’s upcoming Web series, this astonishing troupe show off their superpowers.


My friend, Kojo sent me this video today. Coincidence because I was just looking for a TED video to upload on my blog. It's been a while! Since I love b-boy performances, this was perfect :)

Oprah's Keys to Success

From Google Images
I read an article in You magazine (My hour with Oprah, 10 December 2009) where managing editor, Izelle Venter attended a lecture by the Queen of Talk herself, Oprah Winfrey. Here are a few points from that article:

Oprah's Keys to Success

1.       Accept you are connected to a greater source.
2.       You are the co-creator of your life.
3.       You must sometimes surrender the things you want badly.


 ....and:
  •          If you have so many doubts about something that you end up asking everyone around you for advice, drop it.

  •           Your calling is the thing you would do without being paid because you love it so much. If you have to rearrange your life so you earn a salary that allows you to follow your passion elsewhere, do it.

  • The way you treat people is directly related to how you’ll be treated.

  • Be the best you can be and use your energy for that rather than getting involved in a battle with competitors. That will only make you tired.

  • Every person has a soul and a personality. You have to bring those things together to make your purpose on Earth work.

  • When there’s a crisis stay in the moment. Think what you need to do now – don’t let possible future consequences determine your actions.

  • Be brilliant at what you do.

  • Look out for the signs, often subtle, telling you something is wrong.

Herschelle Gibbs offered a Bollywood role

From Bollyspice.com
Image from Google Images
Herschelle Gibbs, former South African cricketer has revealed in his autobiography, To the Point that he has been offered a "lucrative role" in a Bollywood movie.

"A totally unexpected surprise came my way recently when I was offered a role in a Bollywood movie that will start filming at the end of May 2011. I'm not sure what the part is or what I'm supposed to do, but my agent has told me it's very good money for only a day's work," Gibbs wrote in his book.

Saying that "India is always full of surprises", Gibbs says that he is not interested in playing a negative character and would first find out more about what his role entails. He wrote, "Playing a bad-boy cricketer who gets involved in a match-fixing probably won't be the smartest career move."

Gibbs has said that he loves going back to India. The former Proteas batsman stayed away from the country for about five years in fear of being arrested by Indian police, who wanted to question him about his role in the 2000 Hansie Cronje match-fixing debacle. "I always used to love coming back to India as it is - especially after the match-fixing issue was settled and I knew I wasn't going to be arrested the minute I set foot in the country," he said.

The autobiography has caused a great deal of controversy in which the veteran batsman has made "startling revelations", the main one being of his sexual escapades while on tour with the South African cricket team in Australia. He also revealed behind the scenes of the 2001 dope-smoking scandal in the Caribbean.

The controversy has gone legal, with South Africa's cricket board asking its legal counsel to investigate the allegations that were made.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Men must toughen up & tell the truth!

As I get (will I regret saying this?) older, the inevitable happens. I'm changing. One thing that has definitely changed is my taste in guys. Actually, I prefer saying 'men' as 'guys' seems so teenage-y.

Approximately ten years ago, if I was asked, "What's your perfect guy like?" I'd probably have rattled off a list of him being kind, funny, caring etc... oh, and he had to be a "suit guy", which I guess in my mind represented being a businessman. There's just something appealing about a man in a suit :)

I have since modified my list. A lot. To be very honest, I don't really know why I was thinking of this but when I'm asked what kind of qualities I look for in a person (man) I think I should have a solid list at the top of my head.

Image from Google Images

You can call it chemistry. You can call it electricity. Call it whatever you like, but if there isn't that initial attraction between two people, then what kind of relationship will you foster?  You see, I have met a few people who I've been attracted to on different levels. There's been physical attraction, intellectual attraction and spiritual attraction. I also find myself attracted to people who make me laugh.

With what I think is good reason, I have a little problem when it comes to trust. Here's why:

I meet a guy and we hit it off. He initiates communication. As always, I'm hesitant and allow him to make the first move and what not. We talk for hours on end. We email, chat, call. This goes on for a few weeks, maybe even a couple of months. Even though I wasn't initially attracted to him, his pros outweigh his cons and I can suddenly picture us as a couple!

After a while, he decides that he's bored and perhaps doesn't like me anymore. So he stops all communication.

Cold turkey.

By this stage, it's not about him calling, texting or emailing first. I begin to initiate conversations too. But when I do send a message or call, he doesn't pick up, return the call or reply messages.

So I end up in this frenzy - what the f*ck happened? I thought things were going so well. I lie in bed at night typing texts to send to him that I actually end up saving in my Drafts. I'm too chicken to hit Send, because I know I'll be fighting my sleep waiting for him to write back, which he doesn't do.

You see, from my personal experience, guys who've gone cold turkey and stopped all means of communication do so for one reason. They think we will simply forget about them and move on.

It's a bit ironic that I just read this a few minutes ago: "Girls give and forgive. Guys get and forget."

Heaven forbid you chat online to the guy. It's agonizing seeing his name, let alone seeing that he's online. You click his name a dozen times to start a chat, but you never do.

When you finally pin him down and ask him why he's gone AWOL on you, his reply is measly. Oh, it's so lame. It's one of the oldest lines (lies?) to date.

"Sorry, I was really busy."

Nonsense! NO ONE is THAT busy not to talk to someone they like. How do married people communicate then? I swear, it doesn't take even ten seconds to send a text...that's if you like someone and you're serious about getting to know them further.

This is precisely the reason why it's hard to trust a man. How do you know that he is dead serious about starting a relationship (and being faithful to you) if he suddenly stops all forms of communication?

So this is my gripe: If men wish to terminate - for lack of a better word - the relationship, can they please, for the love of God, have the decency and guts to be honest and frank with the person he's (supposedly) seeing.

Not only does it save time in a relationship that's clearly going nowhere, but it can also save further heartbreak.

Things get unnecessarily complicated when the female in the relationship becomes agitated and wants answers as to why the male stopped talking to her. Generally, women need closure more than men do. When she confronts him and demands answers why he stopped talking to her, it gets sticky. The man ends up lying when all he wants to say is, "I"m not interested in you anymore." I think I'd appreciate a man being upfront and honest with me than trying to sugarcoat lies.

By a man telling a woman that he's no longer interested in her will also save her face. Imagine this: He doesn't reply her text so she thinks perhaps he didn't get it. (He did) She tries chatting to him online, but he doesn't respond so she thinks maybe he wasn't at his computer. (He was) When she finally gets hold of him, she asks "Why haven't you replied my messages / called me back?" To some people, all this makes her seem desperate, right? But how is she to know if he doesn't tell her.

After finding out that he did get her messages, but was too busy to get back to her can only make her feel lousy.

Do you or do you not agree with me?

I asked a close male friend what he thought the important qualities of a relationship should be.

The first thing he said was, "He must have time for her." Any kind of relationship, whether it's between family or friends needs to be nurtured by all people involved. The hand that takes must also give. He went on to say other things like mutual respect and the usual kind of things that we talk about when discussing men, women and what makes healthy relationships.

For me, first and foremost, I want a man who will stick by me through thick and thin. Who won't throw in the towel when the going gets tough. Someone who is determined to work and persevere. Clearly I haven't met anyone like this yet as I'm still single.

I can't emphasize how important communication is. People who don't talk things out end up assuming the worst of situations. If the man is genuinely busy or has something on in his life - he needs to communicate this, because...how else are we (women) to know?

Mutual respect is another thing that's important between two people - parent and child, teacher and student, amongst friends, boyfriend and girlfriend and husband and wife.

Not only do I want, but I need someone with whom I can be myself around and who will feel completely comfortable with me as well. I think this goes without saying, though. This kind of person should fit in your life like a puzzle.

I know I can talk forever, especially on topics I'm passionate about. There wasn't really a point in writing this. I guess I was just "thinking aloud" and that's what my blog is for.

In a nutshell, I wish men can prove that they are man enough to tell a woman when he wants to call it quits and not let her hover around in suspense.

That's all!
Related Posts with Thumbnails